If you’d rather listen to this article on Spotify, you can! Just click here
When people talk about finding their purpose, it can feel overwhelming. You might imagine it as some grand, life-changing moment where everything suddenly makes sense. But the truth is, purpose doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s often simpler and closer than you think. Unfortunately, there are myths that stop many of us from finding what truly fulfils us. Let’s explore these myths and uncover the truths about living a purposeful life.
Myth 1: Your purpose has to be linked to your career
When someone asks, “What do you do?”, we expect the answer to be about work. It’s how society has shaped us. But our jobs are only one part of our lives. They take up about a third of our waking hours, yet they often define how we see ourselves. This creates a lot of pressure, especially if you don’t feel passionate about your job.
If your career aligns with your purpose, that’s fantastic. But for many people, it doesn’t. Your purpose might be in your relationships, hobbies, or the small ways you impact others. A lot of women feel that the only way they can shift their purpose away from work is by becoming mothers. I find this so frustrating because it puts us in a box: you’re either a “working woman” or a “mother”. Both titles come with unfair expectations.
Society doesn’t expect us to “have it all”, it expects us to “be it all”. Women should be kind, caring, and nurturing, but also ambitious and strong. But not too strong, or you might get labelled as selfish. It’s exhausting. Your purpose doesn’t come from these roles, it comes from what lights you up and makes you feel most alive.
Many cultures talk about how our role today is to live freely and enjoy life. We don’t need to be stuck in the hustle culture of always striving for more. Instead, we can focus on fulfilment and passions that make us feel alive.
Myth 2: Your purpose has to be extraordinary
Social media and the news are filled with stories of people living incredible, jaw-dropping lives. They’re climbing mountains, changing laws, or creating ground-breaking businesses. It’s easy to feel like your life isn’t enough unless it’s just as extraordinary. But these stories are rare. They’re shared because they stand out.
When I went travelling, I was chasing that same aesthetic. I wanted people to see me as free and adventurous. But while freedom is one of my values, I also love security and routine. The truth was, my travels weren’t aligned with what I deeply value. It was more about how I wanted to be seen than how I wanted to feel.
Purpose doesn’t have to be world-changing or dramatic. It can be about the small things you do every day that make life better for you and those around you. When I talk about “your world”, I don’t mean the whole planet. I mean the people you interact with regularly: your family, friends, neighbours, or your work colleagues. Purpose can be as simple as making one person’s day brighter, whether it’s through a kind word, a smile, or a small act of kindness.
Some people find their purpose in one big cause. They might dedicate their lives to helping the environment, attending protests, and signing petitions. Others spread their energy across many smaller actions, like recycling, supporting local businesses, or checking in on a neighbour. Both are equally valid. Purpose isn’t about how big your actions are but about how they align with your true values. Small, daily actions create a long-term reality. When those actions bring you joy and hopefully benefit others, you’ve found your purpose.
Myth 3: Your purpose is about what others can see
Most of us crave some form of external validation. We want to be recognised and rewarded for what we do. It starts in school with awards for participation and continues into adulthood with likes and comments on social media. We’ve been taught to value how others see us, and to expect it, but this is a trap.
For women, this pressure is even greater. The beauty, weight-loss, and fashion industries are built on creating insecurities and then selling solutions. Over generations, women have been taught to prioritise their appearance over their abilities or actions. It’s a way of keeping us focused on what we look like instead of what we do.
Yes, women are naturally caring, it’s part of our hormones and societal expectations. But men are also wired to care for others, and they’re not judged as harshly. For men, linking purpose to financial success is often celebrated. But a woman doing the same might be labelled bossy or greedy.
When friends and clients have shifted their focus to internal success, the results have been incredible. Instead of chasing external approval, they’ve focused on what feels good to them. This doesn’t mean ignoring others, but rather acting in ways that align with their values and passions. They’ve found that when they remove the pressure of being perfect, they gain freedom to act and grow. Ironically, letting go of external expectations often leads to more confidence, better relationships, and greater achievements.
Your purpose doesn’t have to be visible to others to matter. It’s not about impressing anyone. It’s about creating a life that feels right for you and brings joy and connection to your world.
Ready to create a life that works for you?
Join my Unstuck course and discover how to find your direction, build confidence, and make choices that truly align with who you are. Through practical tasks, supportive videos and weekly group calls, you’ll learn to navigate life with clarity and purpose.