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Do you ever feel stuck because you don’t know where your life is heading? Like you can’t feel confident until you’ve got everything figured out? You’re not alone. Many women feel this way, but here’s the truth: confidence doesn’t come from having all the answers. It comes from how you live your life, even when things are uncertain. In this article, we’ll look at three ideas to help you feel confident when you’re unsure of your path.
We’ll Never Prove Ourselves to Everyone, And That’s Okay
From the moment women started fighting for equality, society has made us feel like we have to prove our worth. It’s as if the world said, “You want rights? Then prove how valuable you are.” But no matter what we do, society still finds ways to hold us back. We’re told we’re “too emotional,” criticised for taking maternity leave, or judged as “weaker” just because of our gender.
This is exhausting. And the truth is, we’ll never convince everyone we’re worthy. No amount of working late, saying “yes” to every request, or trying to be perfect will change how some people see us. But the good news is, we don’t need to. We can stop living for other people’s approval and start living for ourselves. Confidence doesn’t come from pleasing others; it comes from knowing you’re living a life that feels right to you.
I’ve felt this myself. When I started coaching, I worried about how others would see me. Would they think I wasn’t legit? Would they trust me? It wasn’t until I stopped focusing on their opinions and started asking myself, “Am I proud of the work I’m doing?” that I began to feel confident. That shift changed everything.
The Hard Truth About Confidence: You Have to Do the Work
There’s a lot of talk about affirmations and quick fixes for building confidence. But here’s the thing: affirmations are like painkillers for a broken leg. They might ease the symptoms, but they won’t fix the issue or help you heal properly. Confidence comes from action, not words.
It’s not easy to take those actions, but it’s easier than spending your whole life pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s easier than wasting your passion and potential. Women often say, “I wish I’d followed my dreams” or “I wish I’d stood up for myself more” when they look back on their lives. Don’t let that be your story. Confidence grows when you do the things you’re scared of but know will help you grow.
Start small if it feels overwhelming. Maybe it’s speaking up in a meeting, trying a new hobby, or asking for help when you need it. I remember the first time I asked a friend for advice early in my career. I was terrified they’d think I was weak or silly. Instead, they were kind and encouraging. That small action helped me build the confidence to keep asking for what I needed.
Confidence isn’t about waiting for fear to disappear. It’s about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. The more you step out of your comfort zone, the more you’ll realise you’re capable of so much more than you thought.
Aligning Your Actions With Your Values
So, how do you decide what actions to take? It starts with your values. When you don’t know where to begin, let your values guide you. These are the things that matter most to you, maybe freedom, kindness, growth, independence, or anything else. Your next step should align with what you value most in life.
Take a moment to reflect: What do you want to feel or be in your life? Maybe it’s feeling free to make your own choices, being someone who helps others, or creating a life filled with learning and growth. Once you know your values, use them as a compass.
For example, if independence is important to you, your next step might be learning a skill that helps you rely less on others. If kindness is a core value, it might mean volunteering or reaching out to a friend who needs support. Your steps don’t have to be big. They just have to be consistent.
When I moved to a new city knowing no one, I felt completely lost. I didn’t have a plan or a clear path. But I asked myself, “What matters to me?” One of my values is connection, so I started by joining a local netball league. It was scary walking in alone, but it aligned with who I wanted to be, someone who builds meaningful relationships. That one step led to more opportunities and, eventually, a sense of belonging.
The key is to take small, value-driven actions every day. Over time, these steps create a life that feels true to who you are. And that’s where real confidence comes from.
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