If you’d rather listen to this article on Spotify, you can! Just click here
Sometimes, life feels like a big puzzle where you’ve lost the picture on the box. You don’t know what’s next, everyone else seems to have it figured out, and you’re stuck. Maybe it’s your job, your relationship, or even the city you live in. You want things to change, but you don’t know where to start. That’s okay. Feeling lost doesn’t mean you’ve gone wrong. It just means you need to make an adjustment.
We live in a world of endless options. Social media shows us so many possibilities, and that can make us feel overwhelmed. But the truth is, we don’t need to have it all figured out. What matters is learning what’s important to us and taking one step at a time towards it. Life isn’t about perfection; it’s about experimenting, learning, and growing as you go.
Know what you want
The hardest part of deciding your next step is knowing what you actually want. So many of us spend our lives doing what’s “right” for others, following expectations or traditions. It’s no wonder we get to a point where we feel unsure about what we want for ourselves. The key is to stop asking, “What’s the right thing to do?” and start asking, “What’s important to me?”
I used to be a high school teacher, and one of the most common questions students asked me was, “What subjects should I pick?” My advice was always the same: choose the ones you enjoy the most. There are careers in every field, including ones you’ve never heard of. When you follow what you enjoy, opportunities tend to follow. This advice applies to adults too. Life isn’t about ticking boxes or pleasing everyone else. It’s about finding what makes you happy and fulfilled.
To get clear on what you want, think about what’s important in your life. Is it more freedom? Stability? A sense of connection? Once you know this, you can set up the conditions to help you get there. Conditions are the building blocks of your life: where you live, who you spend time with, what habits you build, and even what you think about. Adjusting these to suit your goals will naturally move your life in the direction you want.
Check in with yourself
A great way to figure out where to focus is to grade different areas of your life out of 10. I believe there are six key sections: work and finance, hobbies, wellbeing, family, friends, and romance. Grab a piece of paper and write them down. Next to each one, rate your satisfaction of each out of 10. Then ask yourself, “What is stopping this from being at least an 8/10?”
For example, if you rate romance as a 5/10 because you feel disconnected from your partner, think about what you can do to improve that connection. Could you set a date night or have a heart-to-heart conversation? Or, if it’s something that can’t be fixed, maybe it’s time to leave the relationship. If work feels low, is the problem financial? Could you budget better, look for a side hustle, or ask for a pay rise? Whatever it is, there’s usually a small action you can take to improve it.
This doesn’t mean changing your whole life overnight. You don’t have to quit your job or move to a new city tomorrow. Small changes can make a big difference. Maybe it’s signing up for a class in something you enjoy, or spending 10 minutes journaling each morning to clear your mind. Carving out even a little time for what makes you happy can help you feel less stuck and more in control.
Take action
Once you’ve figured out what you want and where to focus, it’s time to take action. But here’s the tricky part: fear. Fear of judgement, fear of failure, fear of rejection – they all try to hold us back. This is normal, but it doesn’t mean you can’t move forward. You just need to figure out your approach.
Think about how you get into a cold swimming pool. Some people ease themselves in slowly, step by step. Others take a deep breath and jump straight in. Life works the same way. If you’re someone who likes to go slow and steady, start with small steps. Maybe you tell a friend about your plans, or set aside 10 minutes a day to work towards your goal. Just keep moving, one step at a time.
If you’re more like me and prefer to jump, don’t give yourself time to hesitate. Commit to something that pushes you past the point of no return. Book that class, schedule the conversation, or send the email. Once you’ve taken that first big step, the rest feels easier. For me, this works because if I try to go slow, I overthink and back out. When I jump, I’m already in motion before my brain can talk me out of it.
Taking action doesn’t mean everything will go perfectly. And that’s fine. If something doesn’t work, you haven’t failed – you’ve just learned. Adjust and try again. This is how chemists find the results they’re looking for in experiments, and it’s how we find our way in life too.
When you’re scared, remember this: life is too short to stay stuck. You deserve to live a life that feels right for you. So whether you’re walking into the pool or jumping in, just keep going. You’ve got this.
Feeling stuck doesn’t have to be forever.
Ready to make a change? Join the course and start moving forward today.